Tuesday, February 19, 2013

19.02.13

This was the hardest day of my life so far.

It started out great with some card making and a date with Amy, but it all changed as soon as I saw my grandparents.

I managed to mostly keep it together for Nan. She was telling me about this bible verse she couldn't find and what it means for me when I felt my eyes get hot. Walking down the corridor was tough.

I gathered myself before I went to see Poppa in the hospital wing. It was no use though because I was even more of a mess as soon as I took his hand. The hardest thing was saying goodbye and not knowing if I would get the chance to ever again. He acknowledged it in words and we said I love you, voices breaking, while I held him tight.

I just had to get out of there so I squeezed his hand, said a hasty goodbye and turned away.

It messed with my head and my heart the rest of the day. I was barely keeping it together. Only because of friends and prayer did I manage to contain all that emotion that had been stirred up.

Saying goodbye when you know you'll see someone again is easy in comparison to the likelihood that it's your last chance.

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