Wednesday, January 25, 2017

25.01.17

I had to take a (more than slight) detour on my way to Festival this afternoon and drive out to Andy's farm to pick up some old speakers he insisted were crucial to the design of the marketplace.

It turned out that they were situated in an old open shed down the back of a paddock filled with what could only be described as menacing guard sheep and ducks - at least a hundred animals altogether. 

As I drove through the paddock the ducks came waddling at speed behind my car and were ready to meet me when I opened my door. 

The sheep weren't far off as the ducks had alerted them of my intrusion. I had hardly hobbled my way over rocks, wire and tree roots to reach the shed before I had an audience of sheep, baaing at me angrily. 

I was intimidated to say the least. 

I sought refuge in my car to recompose myself for a few moments. I had to laugh because it was ridiculous. But I figured that even though they may have been scared of me, they far outnumbered me so I best take precautions. 

I turned my radio up loud which did more to comfort me than put off the animals but it gave me more confidence as I marched through the flocks. 

When I shut the gate behind me I had that heart-racing sense of accomplishment. I'd won! 



I swear there were more than that!

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

18.01.17

It's a bit terrifying to step back and take a look at the role social media plays in our lives.

Today I found myself scrolling through my camera roll, searching for something pretty or interesting to post on Instagram.  

After finding nothing suitable, I had this urge to do something 'instaworthy'. Something that would inspire my friends to double tap, affirming my self worth and place in the internet world. 

It's so crazy that we think like that. I mean, it's all subliminal. I just wanted to do something fun, take a picture and upload it so people could see. 

But underneath it all, what drives my desire to do that? If I don't post in a while does that mean my life is boring?

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

17.01.17

Today was not the greatest of days. It was going alright until this afternoon I got a bit stressed and had to shoot off from work in a hurry to get Sam from his work and then we had a disagreement in the car and I got upset.

We worked it out and he came over this evening. We weren't doing much, just hanging out in my room and he was making me laugh. I haven't giggled like that in so long. 

I knew it was because my emotions were heightened from earlier. Really, a finger moustache does not merit the kind of uncontrollable cackles coming from my mouth. 

But upon reflection I find that kind of beautiful, that sometimes the worst feelings can make the best ones that much richer. Without the tears a few hours prior, I wouldn't have been so close to those joyful emotions. My giggles would have been much less mirthful. 

Monday, January 16, 2017

16.01.17

Insurance may not be very remarkable, but I felt pretty lucky today when I discovered that my new car has been uninsured for the past few months.

Just as well I haven't had any bumps or scrapes or even bigger accidents! I even saved some money during that time without paying premiums. 

But bad things could happen at any time. If you knew exactly when, the insurance business wouldn't work. 

I was just lucky this time. 

Sunday, January 15, 2017

15.01.17

Even at the age of 26 I still feel as though reading late into the night is badass. Although I no longer hide under the covers with my torch, keeping an ear out for the parental sentry patrol, heart pounding when I hear the creak of footsteps in the hall.

I'm wisened enough to realise that reading after midnight doesn't make me seem tough, and yet I still felt rebellious as I tossed and turned through the last pages of my novel. 


Saturday, January 14, 2017

14.01.17

Sometimes you've just got to groove as though you just don't care. The shoulders start, then you're clicking along, and somehow you're up booty shaking to some weird song.

When it hits you've just got to go with it.


Friday, January 13, 2017

13.01.17

There's something special about the sun when it gets past 6pm. The rays lose their sting and they just lightly tickle your skin.

It's sun therapy. The stresses of the day melt in its gentle touch. 

That's how it was watching football this evening. The sun stayed out until the final whistle before slinking back to its home behind the trees. 

Thursday, January 12, 2017

12.01.17

Sometimes feelings can be overwhelmingly good but incredibly frustrating at the same time. Sometimes there just aren't words powerful enough to describe what's happening inside.

That's how I felt tonight as Sam and I sat on a bench and watched the waves bob up and down in the glow of the city lights.

It's his birthday and I wanted to express how loved and appreciated he is. It was all inside me, filling my heart but I couldn't get it out for lack of language. 

There's a word in Korean for this feeling, like pressure building up in your chest because of the inability to articulate yourself - 답답하다 (dahpdahp ha da). It's surprising how often you want to use it.



Wednesday, January 11, 2017

11.01.17

Driving home tonight along the winding country roads was made a lot more interesting by the fog on my windscreen. I turned it into a bit of a game and watched as the blasting air dissolved the mist in strange patterns while trying to manoeuvre around tight corners in the dark.




Tuesday, January 10, 2017

10.01.17

I finally ordered the right sized shoes for Sam from the online store. After returning them twice, we were pretty sure that these ones would fit.

The problem was that the courier website was saying they'd been delivered when no one was even in any of the offices on my level. I called the courier service and they were sure they'd delivered it so I emailed the website and told them the shoes never arrived. 

After a few minutes of door-knocking I found the shoes down on level one where someone had signed them in and forgotten to come deliver them to me. 

When I got back to my office I saw that the website had refunded me the full amount and after some discussion didn't want the money back. 

Wins all round! 

Monday, January 9, 2017

09.01.17

Sometimes it feels great just to let the little kid inside take the reigns for a while.

I don't know what came over me tonight, but I had a lot of fun annoying the heck out of Sam, whining and carrying on like a 4 year old.

I was protesting cleaning my room and using all kinds of tactics to procrastinate. There were the puppy dog eyes, the tickle monster and of course the sulking. Classic childhood manoeuvres and Sam was immune to them all.

It's nice to be with someone who tolerates me and who can laugh at me when I'm being a pain.

Sunday, January 8, 2017

08.01.17

Spontaneous dancing always brings me joy, whether it's brought on by a banger in the car, in a shopping aisle, or just the tune in my head.

This afternoon I put on an old Ink Spots vinyl to show Sam that my record player did, in fact work, and moments later we found ourselves slow dancing in the middle of my room. I don't even know how it happened. The romance of it all just took over and suddenly we were Leo's parents from Catch Me If You Can before it all went bad.

I felt so content, leaning on his chest as we swayed to the crackling music.

Saturday, January 7, 2017

07.01.17

Sometimes I forget how good it feels to meet someone new and find out about who they are and what they enjoy.

I am easily persuaded by my brain to be shy and reserved around new people, wondering what they might think about me and whether they'll like me. In actual fact, I can be quite charming if I forget about all that and just chill.

Tonight I made a new friend and it felt great!


Friday, January 6, 2017

06.01.17

There is no combination better than sunshine + good book + cup of tea.

I soaked up the late afternoon rays from my perch on the deck overlooking the grassy hills.

Whenever I paused my book to take a sip of tea or reposition my hat, I made sure to check how the cows were doing in the nearby paddock.

I could get to quite enjoy the country life!

Thursday, January 5, 2017

05.01.17

Charlotte and Adam came back with us to Hamilton and this evening we doused ourselves with insect repellant and toasted marshmallows on the brazier outside.

Somehow the darkness and flickering of flames drew out hilarious stories and fantastic sing alongs. We laughed until we cried and ate until we almost threw up.

Everyone needs friends with whom they can share shart stories and not feel embarrassed.


Wednesday, January 4, 2017

04.01.17

After an ambitious attempt to eat breakfast outside, we sought shelter halfway through when a gust of wind almost sent our bacon flying.

That was how the weather looked to stay in Te Puna so we decided to take a gamble and head for The Mount, where if it rained, at least we'd have Celine sing alongs in the car and proper coffee as consolation.

It turned out to be a very wise choice indeed, because the sun came out and the wind died down to a pleasant breeze. We even had a quick dip!

If only every day of summer could be spent like that, getting sandy and pink.


Tuesday, January 3, 2017

03.01.17

Instead of going home today, we drove to Te Puna, where Charlotte and Adam were staying at his parent's place. It was one of those hardly planned decisions which only seem to happen in summer when the draw of adventure trumps the list of chores that have piled up over the year.

It's fun to bounce from one place to the next with Sam in a way which probably wouldn't have been so easy or enjoyable on my own. If there are two of you, you can keep each other company as you go from one set of friends to the next.

Open ended plans make the summer feel endless and the commitments seem distant. Just the way a holiday should be.

Monday, January 2, 2017

02.01.17

Today started late as all good holidays should start. Sam and I are visiting his parents in Hamilton and I have the luxurious double bed all to myself which is such a treat. 

I was woken by a kiss on the forehead and the promise of breakfast, handmade and delivered to my bedside. I placed my coffee order before dozing back off to sleep. 

The next time I awoke it was to the smell of bacon, eggs and fresh coffee (brewed to perfection). 

I felt like the luckiest girl in the world as I gobbled up my favourite meal of 2017 so far. 


Sunday, January 1, 2017

01.01.17

2016 was a great year. I learnt a lot, I discovered what I want to do with my life, I visited my other home, I made new friends, I became more comfortable in my own skin and I fell in love. But growth like that can also be hard. 

There were quite a few tears and moments I felt like I was in a train carriage, unlatched from the engine, barreling down the tracks to certain disaster. And while it's good to feel like that sometimes, my penchant for catastrophising the future meant I wasn't enjoying the thrill of the ride. 

When I first started One Remarkable Year, I believed that it would help people appreciate the small, beautiful moments in life which happen every day and are often overlooked. That was certainly my experience. 

So it is fitting that, along with my resolution to be less anxious this year, I am going to find and document one of these moments every day. I am going to wake up and decide to look for the good in that day. 

Today's moment happened at around 6pm when the golden sun was making the grass glow on the hills surrounding the Hewat's country home. I couldn't resist so I whipped out my towel and plonked myself down to read my book in the last warm rays. 

Right then I was very content to swap out the sandy beach of the last few days for the soft grass and rolling hills of the Waikato.